Pslams(130:5) I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
(130:6) My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Another night with tears, I have been so emotional lately and it sucks.
Things right now feel like a tornado, just everywhere and I am being pulled
in every which direction. All that I can hold onto is my hope that somehow
the failures is my life will be turned around and made into successes. I
don't understand how people can look forward to the future when I am scared
of the future... Scared! That sucks!! I want to be hopeful that maybe...
Just maybe we'll be able to afford to have a family but I can be
overzealous and assume anything about God's plan for us. "Prosper us and
not to harm us", but in what terms does prosper mean... Most people think
that that means that God will make them wealthy and happen to completely
disagree. Prosper in mind means to make complete and happy, and HEY who
says you have to have MONEY to be complete. Jesus had not even a penny to
his name, the only thing he owned was the clothes on his back and the
sandals on his feet... Do we deserve anything just because we work hard?
No. Anyway, I am so torn between what God wants for us and what we are
actually doing, God has blessed us and that's what I can be content in.
Geeesshhh give me a breather and send us your prayers.
1 comment:
Kendra, my heart hurts for you right now...
It's not right for everyone to wait until they can "afford" it to have a family... Micah and I were totally caught off guard with Kaitlyn and we couldn't afford for me to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mommy (I made 60% of our income!). But God honors those who are faithful and Micah and I completely put our trust in God. He has provided (some months JUST BARELY) and we have survived. I'm not trying to urge you to have a baby or anything :)... I just want to urge you to base your decision to start a family not just on finances but on the Lord's leading.
I can completely identify with your anxiety about the future and I want to encourage you to be content where you are. There are so many others that are less fortunate. I was watching a show one time that talked about how blessed we are in the U.S. to be able to turn on the faucet and KNOW that water will come out. I still think about that every time I take a shower. You and Andrew are so blessed... You have a home and a support network of friends and family that love you so much. You have jobs to go to and cars to get you there. You're serving the Lord every day and He loves you! What more do we need?? :) {{BIG HUG}} And during the hard times, remember that stuff.
When I was interviewing this past couple weeks, two different positions ended up not working out for wierd reasons (now I see they were "God reasons"). I was so frustrated and began to question myself and whether or not I was doing the right thing. Then I was offered the best position of all - the ideal hours for me, the highest salary I've ever made, awesome people to work with... And I realized that the first 2 jobs didn't work out because the Lord was telling me, "Honey, I have something even better for you!" But all I was feeling at the time was frustrated and defeated. I guess I'm just trying to say that even though things in your life may be going in a direction you think is really crappy (or in a direction that unnerves you because you can't see the path), remember that the LORD is in control AT ALL TIMES and His plan is for your good. Surrender to Him.
Daughter of the Lord Most High, God loves you and I LOVE YOU! I hope you feel encouraged...
xoxoxo
Nicole
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