Today

Today has been a good day so far, we are housesitting right now in
Riverside and woke up to the sound of their doggies scratching at the doors
and I let them in and they were so excited to see us. Gave them breakfast,
got ready... We had made some plans to go over to my Grandma's to get some
videotape of her talking about her life. It was really nice, at first she
is asking why we wanted to do this but once I got her talking she was fine
on camera. Got some laughing moments and funny stories. I will post some of
the video once I get it uploaded.

A hard Christmas

This Christmas was a good Christmas, We went to my sister's apartment and decided to cook breakfast with French toast, bacon, and orange juice. Then we headed over to my Grandma's house to have a Christmas lunch with Turkey and all the good side dishes. We pulled out my Grandma's best China and crystal for the lunch, since my Grandma couldn't remember the last time she used them. You're reading this and wonder why I labeled this blog what I did. What has made this Christmas hard is that my grandma keeps saying this is going to be her last Christmas. We're waiting at the table for the food to come out, and my Grandma says "This is a sad Christmas, I don't know why but it just feels sad". So we go on our way with the lunch and have dessert. My Grandma never wanted us to "fight" over her stuff when she was gone so every time we come over we end up leaving with some things she has decided to give us. Even more so this Christmas, so I am left with these feelings like I am taking something that doesn't belong to me. We're sitting in the back room of the house and hugging my Grandma and she says "You know I've loved you since the moment you were born" and of course I start crying because she's talking like this. I told her how much I loved her too... And the conversation carried on with more talk that just made me cry harder. She wipes the tears from my face and says "I love you." In a way, she's checking out, meaning she's in her own way ready to go to her real Home.

Death is a part of the complete cycle of our lives, and it's not my fear of her dying that makes me cry. It's the feeling of not seeing her anymore, missing her spunky character and her back scratches. She's always been spunky, and that's what I have loved about her most. There's a lot of memories there from her. It's a hard Christmas because, partially, I don't know how to deal with these feelings. It was hard because I didn't want to think that this was going to be her last Christmas, I just wanted to enjoy being around her. We get in the car after leaving and I start crying again, Andrew says "Why do you have to make me cry?" So anyway, overall everybody was safe and we enjoyed each other's company so I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas..

Fearless

For Andrew's birthday gift he bought "Fearless" with Jet Li and we watched
it this morning as we just kinda lazed around. Pretty cool movie not just
for the action but also because there were a lot of good points in the
movie. The movie had subtitles bu once I got into the movie, I didn't
even realize that there were there still. One of my favorite was when the
half blinded grandaughter Yueci talks about the moment she knew she was not
going to be able to see and her grandmother says something like "It's okay
to be sad and cry for a little while... And after you cry, you have to live
life."

I thought that was cool, there is a time and a season for everything. So
when life hits hard, it's okay to be sad for a little bit but then we have
to move on and live life the way it has been given to us.

Christmas portrait session

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Why Persevere?

To persevere means "to persist in a state, enterprise,or undertaking in
spite of Counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement." The Dictionary
of Biblical Imagery says that "perseverance is rooted in confidence in the
Lord. It is produced by siffering (Romans 5:3 , James 1:3) and produces
character, 'so that (we) may be mature and complete, not lacking anything'
(James 1:4, Romans 5:4).

Let's face it right up front: Suffering is associated with the development
of perseverance. As we understand better scripture teaches about the
spiritual benefits of perseverance, we can look to the future with hope
instead of fear. There are 3 specific reasons for our suffering:

1) Suffering is God's means of perfecting us.
2) Suffering is a means of spreading the Gospel.
3) In persevering through suffering we see God.

January 19th

Today Andrew turned 26!!!! Yikes man, He said 26 and was like blown away still. We were talking in the car the other night and at one point I think Andrew said, "I mean you're only 21"... ha ha... and I said "No, Honey I am 23... He says No you're 21... I said no I was born in 1983 that means I am 23." Andrew says, "... but we just got married"... I said "Honey, we are getting near to 2 years of marriage."

Time flies pretty fast around here. So 26 years ago, Andrew was born literally kicking and screaming (ha ha). Tonight we got word that a friend of ours, Stephanie, has gone into labor with her baby boy, so we went to the hospital to visit her. Stephanie, you are so awesome. She is progressing nicely and nearing her 5cm and still has not had a any pain meds at all. Go Lamaze classes, and Go Stephanie!!! You will forever be my hero if you go all the way through the delivery without any pain meds. After that we went to Borders to pick out a book for Andrew. Of course, I went to the photography section and started thumbing through some books but none really caught my eye. And now, we are home just hanging out and hoping to go to sleep EARLY tonight!

I am so looking forward to what God is going to show us in the future. We are, literally, on the edge of our seats just waiting for what God is going to tell us. We really have no idea what God is going to give to us.

We have a lot of things that "could" come our way as far as housing. We typically, make too much money to get help from the county of Riverside to buy our first home and yet we don't make enough to float a house payment on our own. So... what does this really mean? Does it mean that what all the real estate experts keep saying might actually happen? The bubble will burst and once again make it possible for youngins like us to buy a house? Or is it all just wishful thinking? We will see, if you read my previous blog about what $269,000 would get us then you know exactly what I am talking about.

Anyway, keep us in your prayers for guidance for decisions. We are at a crossroads right now as we are just waiting for a single word from God about what we are supposed to be doing.

Mary

Can you imagine giving birth to the Son of God? I imagine you would be
holding the little baby Jesus and just crying... I mean think of the weight
that would have been on Mary's mind. I would be crying just because God had
placed such responsibility, think of little baby Jesus in your arms. Did
Jesus know even as a baby that He was the Savior? Did he remember the world
being created even as a baby?

Would she be extra cautious or worry about hurting him as a child or
toddler? I could only imagine... What if God was thinking you were raising
Him wrong, could she raise Him wrong? Gosh I know I would be scared...I
guess that's why God had chosen her because He knew she could have handled
it all. I would a nervous mess, all the time!!

What a miracle... I think we pass by the story of Jesus birth and just
think yeah I have heard it a millon times. But think about it, a young
woman was told my an ANGEL that she was going to be with child, without
ever being with anyone... Geesh, whoever thinks that God does not have
power needs to re-think this story. He was able to create the Savior inside
a young woman who was a virgin. This totally amazes me- If that was me I
would be like- HOW???

God works miracles everyday in our lives, the trick is to First, recognize
them and Second, be thankful to God for them! Thank you Lord for your
miracles and blessings everyday in our lives!! You are so awesome and
amazing and give you praise for providing for us.

Spekulatius Party

Yesterday, we were invited to come to the "Spek Party" from a friend. And we were like that sounds pretty cool, Each year this family holds one of these parties. A Spekulatius is a german cookie, a pretty traditional spice/sugar cookie (we couldn't decide which once it tasted more like). Anyway, they make HUGE batches of this dough and I think they said they use like 6 lbs of flour for the batter. It is supposed to make enough for everyone who attends to take some home. How they get the cookies in a very cool design is unlike I have ever heard. In Germany they would cut very intricate designs into long pieces of wood with maybe 12 different designs on this one piece of wood. Then, they would smoosh the dough into the designs and then you would have to proceed to turn the piece of wood upside down and smack it against a hard surface to get the dough out of the cutter without ruining the design. Very cool, we were invited to go ahead and try this ourselves so here is the video of me making a Spekulatius cookie. It was so cool because this whole family would get together every year and make these cookies, something they have passed down from generation to generation. I would love to be able to pass along something like that to my family...If I had something like that to pass along :)

This is what $269,000 would get us:

Seriously the market has been dropping little by little but... OH MY GOSH. Can you believe that we would be paying like $1400/month for a 580 Sq ft house. I can't even fathom at this point paying like $1000/month on a mortgage for a house because even that would be WAY beyond our budget. Sheesh! Praise report though, Andrew got a $1.25/hour raise at his full time job. Has now been with the same company for 7 years going on 8, crazy! Anyway can you believe this property:

An unconsious effort

How would life be different if helping people was an unconsious effort?
Maybe people wouldn't stuck on the side of the road without any help.
Someone would always stop on the side of the road and ask if they needed
help.
Maybe those homeless people wouldn't be sleeping on the park benches, they
would be in a mission or inside our home being fed and clothed.
Maybe those orphaned children wouldn't be without parents, they would be
adopted and loved and not left to emotional distress because of life's
circumstances.
If helping people was similar to breathing then it would become second
nature to us. We wouldn't ignore the man standing on the side of the
freeway. We wouldn't tell that homeless man we have no money when we really
do. We wouldn't ignore the worldwide hunger.

Hardwood floors pics

These are 2 pictures I took from my phone of my Dad's awesome looking
hardwood floors. The pictures don't look like much but they look so
beautiful.

Hardwood floors

The house I grew up in, my Dad still currently lives in and the house has
always had hardwood floors underneath the carpets. He has been wanting to
rip up the carpets for a long time because, hardwood floors (and real ones)
look beautiful, and my Dad agrees that it will be better for allergies. So,
today he ripped up all the carpets and told me how beautiful they look and
how different it will be when you come in. I am so excited to see this!! I
will have to take pictures and post them once I stop by there.

So cute!

Okay, so the other night we were in the Anne Geddes store at Downtown Disney and we saw this baby collection. And I couldn't help but think how cute it would be with our last name being Holybee to have this Bee collection or decorate the babies room in bee's. This is just so darling!!!

Christmas at Downtown Disney

Went to Downtown Disney tonight and on our way out it started raining... We
went into the Anne Geddes store hoping to find a little santa outfit for
Briana's baby but had no luck. Although I did find a little Bee themed
onesie and I thought how cute it would be when we have babies to have Bee
themed baby room! We are headed home now and it is raining a little bit so
yeah the winter season has started.

Lately

Andrew and I have been discussing what we are going to do like with where
we are living. Are we going to live a very humble life? With this humble
life we would be sacrificing a lot things in our life so that we could help
others around us that are in more need. Means in a lot of ways giving up
the idea of ever owning a home. We want to live humbly for sure, to what
extent are we called to live like this?
We would just love some answers as to what direction God is leading us, are
we supposed to be church planters? Are we supposed to buy a house? Should
we buy a bigger rv? Even just a little hint as to what direction we should
take. We think we are getting taken a direction and then something happens
to confuse us again. I know it's just a season but sometimes you just want
answers. I pray every morning just holding onto the hope that God will
reveal to me just a little more about what direction to take. I mean just a
peek into where to go would be so helpful.

We've never thought that we would be ones that ever moved out of California
and now we just keep leaving every door open because if we need to move
then I know that God has his hand in it. Oh Lord, why do you make me wait
for your words? I feel like a little child looking up at her Daddy just
waiting for Him to bend down and whisper his desires for me in my ear to
me. So, here we are just waiting for Him.

James Riley pictures

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Thoughts for today

Ever just have one of those days you feel like no matter what you do, you
just can't seem to get it right? I feel like a horrible person today, seems
like whatever I touch seems to go to crap. I know... It's just a season.
Trust God and he will work everything else out. I know all of the things
that people will say to try and make me feel better but it is so hard to
see what I am doing right at this moment. I want to cry but I can't since I
am at work. Life has been pretty stressful right now, with work opening the
new building and ministry, and all the other life stuff. I feel like I am
living outside my own body... Like I am watching my own life happen instead
of living it. I don't know how else to explain it. I know that God has a
plan for our marriage and our life plans and living situation, but I feel
so blind right now. I feel like I can't see more than what is directly in
front of me. Some people have visions of what their life will be like and
it happens... Not us! We seem to live in such abnormal circumstances, and
sometimes I just want to decorate my own house and paint my own walls, pick
out my own furniture but we can't. Ahhh, too many thoughts and it's driving
me nuts!

My new little nephew

Born Dec 4th 12:00 in the afternoon, weighing 6lbs 4oz, 19.5 inches long.
Yeah! How cute!