**Update** So we met the realtor for this property last night and to take a look at the house and everything looks so great and yeah it is pretty small but it will be our first home it's not like I can expect a brand new home for our first one. Anyway, after some talking about it and crunching some numbers we still think it would be better at this point to wait a little bit longer and continue to save for a better home in better condition than this one. Keep us in prayer as we continue to save.
This property came up for sale recently, and it is a short sale which means that they want to try and sell it as quickly as possible but also means that they will be more willing to drop the price more. As you can see it is only a 2 bedroom 1 bath house and is pretty small in square footage but would be a great stepping stone to getting in the housing market. We are keeping it in prayer and leave it up to God to see if this is something we will be able to do. God has really and truly blessed us so much already that if we don't get it that will be exactly God's will. Very exciting and also pretty scary at the same time, Yikes a mortgage!!
I had a check up with my Dr today to check my incision from the surgery and I have to say I love my doctor! Dr Bryan has been the best Dr so far and I totally love her, she always makes me feel so comfortable. The last 2 appts I have had with her she gave me a HUG (people, she gave me a HUG!) before I left the exam room... I have never had a Dr treat me so well and make me feel like she is like a friend rather than a number on her to-do list. If you are looking for a Ob/Gyn I highly suggest Dr. Bryan, she is so awesome! She asked me, "How are you feeling?" And I responded by saying, "Other than the lack of sleep I feel pretty great!" She responded back by saying, "Ehh, Sleeping is overrated, well, at least that is what I keep telling myself!"
Sleep is definitly not overrated at this point...Sleep, what is that? Last night seemed to be a pretty rough night once again. Hezekiah only slept a total of 4 hours last night, the nights before we was sleeping at 2 hour increments but this started at 9:30pm, so me only sleeping 2 hours at a time until 7am was fine with me because at least I was getting more sleep. Last night he decided to stay up until 12:30pm and falling asleep only when I held him and waking up as soon as I laid him down in the cradle. I finally got him to sleep and laid down in my bed to get some Zzz's and about 2 hours later decided to wake up again for a diaper change and a feeding. Again, he did not fall asleep unless I held him... so I found myself at 4am looking down and realizing that I had fallen asleep holding the baby on the couch with my head against the back of the couch... I must have been really tired. Finally, got him to sleep again and then he was up for the morning at 6am. Luckily, this phase will not last for very long... before I know it Hezekiah will be sleeping a few hours more at a time.
Seems like since the baby has been born I have not been able to keep my days straight. Mainly because I am at home everyday with the baby and I cannot seem to remember what day is what and what we have planned. Tuesday marks Hezekiah being 3 weeks old already and man these last few weeks have seemed to just fly by. I have begun the process of trying to pump extra milk so when we are out and about I don't have to breastfeed the baby in public. Plus anytime, we have people over or we go to visit someone the baby and I usually have to disappear for an hour or so to get his feedings in. It makes me feel very anti-social at most times because I don't like to necessarily feed the baby in front of people and I haven't mastered using the blanket because it was just so dang hot to put a blanket over me and the baby. I have every intention of still feeding the baby breast milk as long as I can, so hopefully this pump will help a little bit with the feedings, slow going on the process of pumping for now I am sure it will pick up quickly.
So this is the forecast for the next couple of days, surprisingly, I woke up this morning to it raining and I thought... Summer is going to coming to close very soon here. Cooler temperatures, sweaters, fires, hot chocolate, Christmas- just some of my favorite things about winter time. This is going to be such an exciting time because of the baby. He gets to go through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, He probably won't remember any of these first holidays for him but nonetheless it is exciting for me to think about all the fun stuff we get to do with him during the holidays. Getting a Christmas tree, yippee, Okay I know I am thinking a little too far ahead here, huh?
One of the hardest things about the holidays this year will be that my Grandma Betty passed away just a little over 2 weeks ago and will not be here for any of these holidays, Thanksgiving will be the hardest as we always went to her house for this. There are just so many changes to the people in our lives this year that will make things so different than any other years. Either way, I still look forward to the holidays despite some changes that have gone on.
So, as it is anyway I am up feeding the baby at this time last night but Andrew was asleep and everything was all quiet.... except for the lovely sound of someone banging on the neighbors door ridiculously loud for like an hour. With the baby still attached I seriously almost went outside and yelled at whoever was out there because I was so tired of hearing them bang.
Later, we found out that a friend of theirs left their phone and keys in their apartment and they apparently were not opening the door or answering their phones... gee I think they might have been asleep. Had it not been for the fact that I am up already as it is I was about to be very mad!
Last night was pretty nice finally, after a few days of being up every hour with the baby... I finally kept Hezekiah up most of the day during the day and only left him sleeping for an hour at a time- Took him in the carrier and walked around the apartment complex to keep him awake. And so around 8:30pm, he fell asleep and stayed asleep for 2 1/2 hours and then woke up, ate, changed his diaper, and then went back to sleep again for another 2 hours, same thing, he went to sleep again, and hen finally stayed asleep for 3 hours.... who0 hooo finally a little more sleep last night! I am hoping tonight I will be able to do the same thing again.
Why do I label my blog this? Hmmm... well tonight I am in the midst of feeding the baby and I decide to change his diaper to wake him up a little so I can finish feeding him. (With boys anytime cold air hits their little private parts they are likely to pee so you have to let it hit the air and then quickly cover with the diaper until he is finished.) Now, I thought I was doing pretty good so far but tonight I am changing his diaper and I look down for just 1 second and I look up to find pee hitting little Hezekiah's face and the changing pad so I screamed for Andrew to bring me more diapers and attempted to clean up the little mess he had made... I went through 4 diapers once I got it all cleaned up. Boys are fun! Then again just a few minutes ago, Andrew finishes changing him and gets him all settled and what do we hear from him but the sounds of little poop... we both said "Are you kidding me?" so I changed his diaper and got him settled and Andrew is trying to rock him to sleep and what do we hear again but the sound of poop so I change him again and as I am changing him I do my little trick with the cold air and I waited about 5 minutes and thought for sure he was done and I get about 3/4 way done with the diaper change when he starts to pee almost on me again... so I had to get another clean diaper... so once again went through 4 diapers in 1 changing!
We've been keeping the radio on at night while the baby sleeps because it helps him get to sleep faster so we've been keeping it on 89.7 KSGN since the music tends to be a little softer. And of course I am up in the middle of the night with the baby and the song "East from the West" by Casting Crowns comes on and I was really impressed by the song and lyrics. Song was written based on Psalms 103:12 " As far as the east is from the west, So far has he removed our transgressions from us." The song talks about forgiveness, and how we as sinners feel like we are one-step away from God walking away from us, so in the song he asks the question How far is the East from the West? Where does God's forgiveness end? It never ends, because He is a merciful God. Awesome song, listen to it when you get the chance. Here is a video I found on youtube of a live performance of the song, but the studio recorded song is better than this:
Casting Crowns "East from the West
Here I am Lord, And I'm drowning In your sea of forgetfulness The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest I don’t want to end up where you found me And it echoes in my mind, Keeps me awake tonight
I know you cast my sin as far as the east is from the west And I stand before you now as, As though I've never sinned But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away From you leaving me this way
Jesus can you show me Just how far the east is from the west Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest, Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other.
I start the day the war begins Endless reminding of my sin And time and time again your truth is drowned out By the storm I'm in Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away, From you leaving me this way
Jesus can you show me, Just how far the East is from the West Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest 'cause you know Just how far the East is form the West From one scarred hand to the other.
I know you've washed me white, Turned my darkness into light I need your peace to get me through, To get me through this night Can’t live by what I feel But by the Truth your work reveals, I'm not holding on to you But you're holding on to me, You’re holding on to me
Jesus you know Just how far the East is from the West I don't have to see the man I've been, Come rising up in me again In the arms of your mercy I find rest 'cause you know just how far the East is form the West, From one scarred hand to the other.
It's 1:55am on Wednesday morning and I am sitting here thinking about how I should be getting sleep instead of writing this blog-
Having a baby there are just sooo many changes physiologically going on, on top of being exhausted and the baby screaming his head off. Right now Hezekiah is sleeping soundly in his cradle and probably remain that way for maybe 2 more hours and then will be starving. Yesterday marked the baby being exactly one week old, he has had a few appointments these last few days and they are so exhausting and traumatic for him and for me as the mom- taking labs and then the circumcision... So what is it like being a mom now? Means only getting 2 hours of solid sleep, changing diapers, and nursing. Newborns don't require much at this point, just some good TLC :) I look at Hezekiah and think, strengthened by God, and I just smile and think- WOW- this baby was in my belly and now he's all ours to keep! All the funny little faces he makes and cries when he's upset make me just love him even more. It's such a big responsibility that God has entrusted us with, but I am loving every minute now. I never thought I would love someone so much in such a short time, but I love being a mom... Here are some pictures of us and the baby this last week:
As I hope everyone has been able to keep up on the pictures from Andrew's website and updates on his blogs on our new little baby Hezekiah... God is so good to us- Having a C-section was definitely not by choice but GOD knew that I had to have it done in order to have the healthy and happy baby. I thank the Lord for watching out for Hezekiah and myself during the whole surgery and just pray that I will have a fast recovery :)
I realize now that when other mother's told me there is no book in the world that will prepare you for motherhood- How true this really is. There is nothing anyone could have told me that prepared me for the exhaustion. At the hospital, it was different because you have nurses waking you up every couple of hours but home the only thing keeping you from sleeping is the little baby who decides that he likes sleeping more during the day rather than at night.
So our fun last night was that Hezekiah literally wet through his diaper, onesie, and blanket not just 1 time folks... try 3 times having to change his clothes along with his diaper. The pictures here I took with my phone because I was too afraid to get up since I finally got him to sleep. The outift he is wearing here was the 3rd outfit we changed him into. My milk finally came in the other day which is GREAT, however, this also means the baby will be hungry more often.... again exhausting!
Thank goodness for such a wonderful husband... these last few days recovering from the surgery Andrew has been such an amazing help. Getting me things I can't reach, helping change the baby, helping me take a shower, just picking up the baby and calming him down... so many things I can't list them all. I fell so much more in love with him seeing him hold our baby and kiss him... ohhh- How could anyone have a baby 0n their own without someone to help them?
Being home has been able to allow me more time to reflect on life and realize how much GOD truly love us. When I was younger I always knew that God loved me and provided for me but since being married and now expecting our first baby- literally anytime now- God's grace seems even more apparent to me and real. We have been given so much, we have an amazing marriage and soon to be family, air conditioned apartment, food in the refrigerator, clothes in the closet, baby stuff up the wahzoo... endless amounts of things that I know that we totally do not deserve. I find myself crying most times because I REALIZE that these things are given to us even in spite of the sinners that we are, the crying might be the raging hormones but still I find myself being humbled by how GREAT our God really is. So great that he has created this life inside my body and has kept me and the baby Holybee healthy all 9 months. So great, that I know that when I go to deliver this miracle (eeek!!!) that we will still be protected by His grace! I don't think I could ever in this lifetime say Thank you enough to the Creator for His wonderful blessings, and I just look forward to being able to serve him more through this new addition to our life :)
This morning I lost my mucus plug... which is a good sign that things are progressing still and that I am still dilating! However, does not necessarily mean that I will go into labor anytime soon. I could stay like this for another week or so... let's keep praying that I start having some contractions soon!!
