Today marks the 4th anniversary of Josh Gladura's passing, this year never comes without some sort of reminder of how thankful we should be for the lives we have. Today was a day of reflection and memory, a day sometimes I dread because I am always too emotional. I can't ever say that Josh and I were ever best friends, and in fact for a long time he HATED my guts for trying to "take away" Andrew from him. Somewhere between hating me and being friends with me, he must have realized that I wasn't going away from Andrew's or his life as long as he had Andrew as a friend. I can call Josh a friend, because those last few months of his life something changed in him and in me and he actually became nice to me and we even laughed about his and my goofiness. He was one of Andrew's best buddies, so to see Andrew missing him is enough for me to feel empathy right now. Josh was goofy and friendly with a lot of people, and he was able to reach quite a few of them in his life... with that said he only had a handful of people who were truly close with him and really knew him- not just spent a few days hanging out with him but truly knew him. I don't pretend to know everything about Josh or even pretend I am one of those handful of people because it would be a lie. I barely started getting to know Josh when he passed, and I say that because even though we hung out for 3 years we never gave each other a chance to get to know each other because we were too busy hating each other... lol. So where do I go from here? I am going to be real, I am not going to pretend I had some great relationship with Josh, when I barely started to get to know him. I truly wished that I was able to spend more time with him after we started getting along because I truly miss all his goofiness... I am going to be upfront and real because that is what is right.
I miss a lot of things about Josh, his countless times hanging his head out of the car with his tongue hanging out and wearing his swim goggles and towel on his head, I miss him sharing his video of "Gay Spiderman" and the "Mystery of Britny Spears boobs", I miss the nights in Lytle Creek, I miss that he ALWAYS wanted the windows down even when it was cold outside (just like Becca does too), I miss his laugh, and I will never forget the night Andrew has his windshield wiper sprayers pointed sideways and Josh decides to spray someone in the car next to us and had their window down and those girls happened to be crazy and chase us in downtown Fontana. I mean for goodness sake the first time I met him and Clint we were going off- roading and when we pulled up in Andrew's car Josh was hanging his head out of the side of the truck and screaming "Hiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!" And I can hear him saying Hi in his usual Josh manner like it was yesterday! The only thing I truly wished I could change, would be if Josh could have been there for our wedding, because he would have been standing up there in our wedding party.
Those memories are the ones I will cherish the most :)
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